CRYPTO JESUS — Confess Thy Sins, Degenerate

✠

— THE HOLY ORDER OF THE BLOCKCHAIN —

Thou hast arrived.

The doors of the digital chapel are open.
Within: confession, absolution, and one (1) hymn.

By entering, thou consenteth to a moment of holy audio.

· ANNO DOMINI MMXXVI ·

— His Holiness, illuminated. Cap. I, fol. 1^r —

Confess thy sins of the timeline.
Receive holy absolution. Touch grass.

Begin thy confession ↓

Unburden Thy Soul

He seeth all bags, all cope, all subtweets. Type.

The VI Commandments of Crypto Jesus

I.Thou shalt not post AI slop unto thy timeline.
II.Thou shalt not use the word "delve" in thy newsletter.
III.Thou shalt not buy the top, lest thee weep.
IV.Thou shalt not reply "this."
V.Thou shalt not call thy product agentic if it is but a for-loop.
VI.Thou shalt remember: the timeline is not real, but thy mother is.